I often look at posts and other articles I have written in the past. I do so at times with some trepidation because I hope that I have improved with the years and therefore what I have written in the past may appear to be the scribbling of a child. But, not to worry – I haven’t improved that much, and some of these infantile “scribblings” are virtually crying out to me, “Use me!” and I inflict them on you once more simply because I feel they are once again right on target for at least one lone individual. You may be the one.
I Am Hooked on God
(edited reprint of September 2, 2005)
I am always pestering the Lord for a closer walk with Him. I have pled, and will plead until I leave this earth, for a more intimate relationship with my Jesus. He is answering that prayer, but in an unexpected way. That roaring wind named Katrina, which blew with such savage fury over the Gulf States before projecting its wrath miles inland, made me see God in a different and more appreciative light.
I don't know how this is happening. It wasn't primarily because God spared me and mine from the destruction and death that came with Katrina. I am of course grateful, but I know it was not my goodness that spared me; there were some believers in Christ who were devastated by the shrieking winds and the mighty force of the waters that came in their wake. No, that was not it; in fact, I might be the next in line for such damage when it happens again.
The relevance that the terrible catastrophe in the Gulf States has to my getting a more intimate relationship with God – who let it all happen – is hard to explain. My senses have been overwhelmed by nature's might and I know there is a God greater than nature who holds all nature and the entire cosmos in His hands. But that doesn't really explain my feeling closer to God, although it has something to do with it.
Perhaps God is showing me his power in this indirect fashion (I didn't suffer as the unfortunates did in the ravaged areas) because that was the unvoiced part of my plea to Him: along with a closer walk, it seems that I wanted a greater awareness of His power. I was not asking for miracles; I am filled up to my eyebrows with the emphasis on miracles, as though they were the main evidence that God is God. All I want is to perceive His power within my mind. I want to know it is there without becoming a “miracle addict.”
You see, technically I know the power is resident within Him. It is not as though I haven't seen it working in the universe, in the world all around me and in my own life (now there is the miracle!), yet I want to get into my mind and spirit an increased awareness of His might. I need a closer walk with Him and I yearn for a more effective ministry. I can’t be content with “seeing” more of God without telling others, saved and unsaved, about this altogether fabulous God I serve.
In some inexplicable way the desolation, devastation and despair that were etched in the faces of the poor unfortunate people who were blasted by Katrina have made me learn more about God; they have given me increased insight into His Word and His ways (even His love!) and are producing the more intimate relationship with Him that I urgently require. It appears that the more He blesses me, the more I need more of His blessings. I am a junkie, plain and simple, hooked on Divinity Himself!
The winds, the overpowering waters, the wrath of nature – these all tell me about the greater power and wrath of God that will someday be unleashed on a terrified earth. But contrariwise, the total despair and the abject suffering that I see on TV evoke from me a strong feeling of compassion, and I know it smacks of the little bit of divinity within me. Further, it is evident that God has never wanted such catastrophes visited upon men and women. This is not the way He created the earth.
God created the earth perfect and when sin entered the world it brought with it all manners of tragedies and turbulence and death. God does not want that for the creature he made pure and guileless. His love is loath to smite man at any time, but man's own intransigence has brought these many evils upon him. Nor can we overlook the just and righteous side of God that demands like punishment for like trespass, an "eye for an eye."
So I see and somewhat understand this God I serve and as I behold in Him love and mercy and truth and righteousness and power and terrible majesty, my soul is overwhelmed and I bow my head in worship before Him.
Can you understand this?
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