My Unusual Journal
My Unusual Journal 54, Sunday, November 20, 2011, 3:23 PM
Rambling Thoughts on the Goodness of God
This will not be like the usual post; it will be an unusual post in this Unusual Journal series. I might add that it is written by a highly unusual man… and I am not boasting at all of my out-of-sync personality… merely living with it by the grace of God.
I am sitting in front of my computer and my heart is full of the goodness of God. That sentence is so very inadequate to describe what I am experiencing at this time and this very moment… God is such a great and gracious God, you know, and he does not have to pardon my past indiscretions nor my present failings. I am not conscious of any sin that I am committing, but I know – oh, how strongly I am aware of – my imperfections.
I feel like weeping (but I won’t) and I feel like shouting out for all to hear (but I won’t) the impeccable righteousness of God and my own woeful state. I may not weep and I may not shout it from the housetops, but I will smite you with the truth. And the truth is it is only the goodness of God and His love and His mercy that have made – strike that – counted me worthy to stand in His presence. He has washed me in His blood and clothed me with His righteousness and I don’t feel the least merit in myself as I lie prostrate at His feet… All that I am and all that I have God has provided and I don’t have the words to describe what is going through my mind and the emotions that are pulsing strongly in my heart. I am utterly filthy and despicable; but at the same time, by His blood that is constantly flowing over me, I am the most blessed person in Creation.
That is a true oxymoron, but what is so good about it is that Christ’s blood has washed all my sin and guilt away. Now when I am aware of what I would be without my Savior, it is in the subjunctive mood or stated as a hypothesis, not as an actual state, thus: “If it were not for Jesus I would be still covered in my sins.” But I do have Jesus and I am righteous as He is righteous, and nothing in this entire sin-ravaged world can take that from me.
God knows, and I know all too well how much I don’t merit the fullness of His grace… and yet He continues to lavish love and grace and mercy on me… and I love Him more and more for His faithfulness and unconditional love…
I am finished with this rambling, incoherent post, but I am not in the least satisfied that I have done justice to the Jesus for whom it was written. I will just keep trying and writing and living for Him and hoping He will graciously accept what I bring to Him – which is all that I am, all I possess, all my hopes and dreams and whatever I am unconsciously withholding from Him.
“Here it is, Lord… I am wholly yours now and forever.”
Comments